Previously Posted

Previously Posted: Rules of Engagement

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For those new to CabbieBlog or readers who are slightly forgetful, on Saturdays I’m republishing posts, many going back over a decade. Some will still be very relevant while others have become dated over time. Just think of this post as your weekend paper supplement.

Rules of Engagement (15.0.09)

You know that sinking feeling. You’re at a party and the village bore sidles up and wants to discuss his collection of beer mats.

What do you do? Enter into an earnest conversation on the merits of square versus round or oblong, praise the durability to withstand liquid, and discuss their post-modernist designs.

As I see it your have three options:

  • Engage in an earnest and meaningful conversation, and listen to his discourse for three hours
  • Suggest sex and travel might at this juncture be appropriate in his case
  • Stare over his left shoulder at that cute girl across the room while trying to not let your eyes glaze over.

Stuck inside your cab you regularly have the village bore, with the maxim “the customer’s always right, even if he is a complete prat” ringing in your ears you have that same dilemma. Well, a recent study might have the answer to my problem.

Social researchers have studied the interaction between hairdressers, dentists or cabbies with their clients. They call this “The rules of conversational engagements for everyday encounters”, and interestingly it would appear that we have the upper hand in driving the conversation, even though you are employing us.

We have all sat in the dentist’s chair while he conducts a conversation about your holiday while filling your mouth with implements. But it would seem that my customers also know their place when sitting in the back of my cab as much as in the dentist’s chair.

It would appear that the driver starts the conversation choosing the subject, and, sorry about this, drives the conversation forward. You of course reply to my discourse not wishing to be confrontational as you regard conversation with a stranger to be on a different level than, say somebody you met in the pub or a casual acquaintance.

So the next time you are in the back, take this little bit of advice and know your place.

 

Thinking allowed

Bermondsey pays better than Belgravia

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One old cabbies’ saying goes ‘Bermondsey pays better than Belgravia’, reflecting the sadly true notion that generosity is more likely found among working Londoners than the gentry. Now payment app Lopay has analysed 57,816 fares paid to more than 2,000 taxi and private hire drivers in the capital and found that just 1 in 5 passengers alighting in Wandsworth’s wealthy enclaves tipped their driver, barely half the figure recorded in top-tipping Hillingdon.

According to Lopay’s data, London’s worst tippers were Wandsworth, where just 21.3 per cent of passengers added a gratuity to their fare, followed by Barnet (22 per cent), Greenwich (22 per cent), Brent (22.5 per cent) and Westminster (23 per cent). Top tippers were Hillingdon (38 per cent), Havering (35 per cent), Lewisham (34 per cent), Hounslow (33 per cent) and Richmond (30 per cent). The generosity of taxi customers alighting in Hillingdon may stem from the fact that the West London borough is home to Heathrow airport, so the data includes high numbers of air passengers carrying luggage.

Further analysis of the data revealed that the average gratuity paid to drivers across the capital was 10 per cent or £3.10 and that passengers are most likely to leave a tip in the evening, between 7pm and midnight. By contrast, late-night revellers are the least likely to leave a tip, with the worst hours for tipping recorded between midnight and 5am. Londoners were more likely to tip on weekdays than at the weekend, suggesting that those able to claim their fare back as a work expense may be more generous than those paying out of their own pocket.

Puppydog tails

Johnson’s London Dictionary: Shaftesbury Avenue

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SHAFTESBURY AVENUE (n.) Sinuous bridleway twixt Piccadilly Circus and St. Giles that doth have upon it six theatrical emporiums populated by bewildered tourists.

Dr. Johnson’s London Dictionary for publick consumption in the twenty-first century avail yourself on Twitter @JohnsonsLondon

Taxi Talk Without Tipping