Category Archives: Thinking allowed

Boris bridges

The Boris Garden Bridge is consigned to oblivion. This vanity project, known by luvvies as the garden bridge has already used £37.4 million of public money and by cancelling will cost a further £9 million. The bridge, which only served to obscure London’s best view and wasn’t even open to the public all year, should never have been considered. I know it’s heresy to say these days when we all should be cycling to work, but the £46 million could have been spent on a traffic bridge at Beckton thus reducing congestion at the Blackwall crossing. he new ECO cab has been unveiled with a £60,000 price tag. Assuming you write down the cost over 10 years (private hire come off the road at 10 years); spend £2,000 on insurance; £1,000 on maintenance; it cost you £10 per day on fuel and electricity to charge its batteries; and another £1,000 on one’s licence, plating the vehicle, medicals and sundry extras you arrive at £12,4000 per year. This is probably an underestimate, then, let’s be generous, you can earn £20 per hour for every hour that you are working, and that you work 5-day-a-week for 48 weeks a year you get a back of an envelope sum thus:£12,400÷48 weeks=£310 weekly overheads which equal 15.5 hours or 2 days’ work before you have earned a bean.

Still, we can look forward to the Boris Bridge MkII, over the Irish Sea or as it will become The Bridge Over Troubled Water

My next step

My local Lloyds Bank has now closed. Having been a customer since 1970 I will now have to travel over 4 miles and incur parking charges just to join the queue which will be longer than the line waiting for service was when my local branch was open. Thanks, Lloyds as you say in your current advertising campaign: ‘For Your Next Step’. My next step will be four miles long.

A (very) brave new world

In the 1970s or early 1980s car stickers started to appear on the rear of vehicles, with the wording:

Designed by computer
Built by robot

Driven by an idiot

 

It was a parody of a successful advertising campaign for a car manufacturer whose model I cannot remember, but no doubt somebody might.

This mantra proved prescient and has stuck with me over the years, never more so, as the digital age has taken over our lives and seeing robots on an assembly line is regarded as the norm, and for the third line ‘Driven by an idiot’ could as easily be applied to many motorists driving in London today.

If you could take humans out of the equation, so the theory goes, the roads would be a safer place, and the subsequent reduction in overheads (the drivers) would be of huge interest to the likes of Uber.

That ambition of driverless cars has now become a reality thanks to the work, over many years, conducted at Warwick University. As soon as next year Jaguar is predicting their ‘Robocar’, a rectangular electric vehicle not dissimilar to the familiar electric cab could hit London’s streets.

With a top speed of 75mph and a range of 190 miles between charges, it can transport up to six people anywhere in London, and beyond.

The recent storms proved that this technology can save lives when two Tesler cars independently braked to avoid falling trees in the recent storm, thus saving the passengers from injury or death. These life-saving events help the argument that autonomous and computerised cars are far safer than human-driven vehicles as robots don’t drink drive, fall asleep, watch the passing landscape, or use their phone or i-pad whilst negotiating London’s complex streets.

Not until artificial intelligence has the ability, will these vehicles be likely to confront other artificial intelligence-led vehicles with road rage.

In the race to become a world-leader in autonomous technology, already the Department of Transport has been tasked with drawing up a digital Highway Code thus enabling self-driving cars on to the Capital’s roads by next year.

As the adage goes: ‘The most dangerous part of any car is the nut behind the wheel.’

Brains trust

So Sadiq Khan has set up a ‘brains trust’ to look into ways of reducing congestion in London: more bikes; banning cars on certain days; no deliveries during daylight hours; you know the sort of thing. It would be less risible if he hadn’t issued 40,000 Uber licences.

Caught short

What is the connection between these numbers?

2 and 4 at the same time, then 3; 3574; C395ZY; 2088; and 1975

Here’s a clue: The numbers are all useful in the Tottenham Court Road area should you have an urgent need to use them.

When as a cab driver of advancing years, much of my thinking time was taken up looking for these facilities which these numbers allow access.

A young pressure group have produced an essential Twitter feed, and considering their needs would be far less urgent than we septuagenarians, they should be applauded.

Apparently, any establishment with an alcohol licence is mandatorily required to allow anyone to use their toilets, and offer a glass of water, isn’t stipulated in what order. This stipulation, of course, is never complied with.

How many times have you gone into an establishment to find a sign reading “For patrons use only”, or my favourite “Out of order, awaiting Plummer”, and if that is the case, just how to their employees take a comfort break or maybe they are not allowed to take a break during their working hours.

@LDNloocodes with nearly 7,000 followers aim to give everyone who gets caught short a selection of entry codes to the local toilets.

The five locations and their codes are:

Change Please, above the Halifax Bank, corner of Tottenham Court Road; Pret, New Oxford Street; Waterstone’s, Tottenham Court Road; Pret, Centre Point; Five Guys, next door to the Dominion, Tottenham Court Road.