Previously Posted: Patriot Games

For those new to CabbieBlog or readers who are slightly forgetful, on Saturdays I’m republishing posts, many going back over a decade. Some will still be very relevant while others have become dated over time. Just think of this post as your weekend paper supplement.

Patriot Games (25.06.2010)

Was it Samuel Johnson who was alleged by Boswell to have said “Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel”? He should have prefixed that quote with “phoney” for I don’t know about you, but I’m getting very weary of seeing St. George’s flags being raised to support self-adoring, over-paid footballers, rather than for self-sacrificing, under-paid and under-resourced soldiers doing their very best not to cry over fallen comrades.

I’ve supported this country during many conflicts over these past 25 years; Falklands, Iraq, Afghanistan and wherever our boys (and girls) seek to fight fascism. But now all over London we see evidence of a phoney patriotism. And look how shallow all their football “patriotism” is, Marks & Spencer, that temple to middle class consumerism is like a football flea market, piled high with World Cup tat: flags, plates, kids’ games and yes, mugs. Which rather sums up those who purchase this junk? Walk across the road and the Nationwide Building Society is offering a higher rate of interest on some accounts if England wins this contest, couldn’t they have just paid better rates in the first place?

In America, that place which really likes to wear its heart of its sleeve, there are so many star-spangled banners flying on every lawn and shopping mall that all patriotic impact has been lost. They use Old Glory to support the troops; they use it to sell you a Chrysler. Many of these flags are imported anyway; the year after the 9/11 attack, the United States imported $7.9m of flags from China and some had 53 stars.

Is this mindless support for football “heroes”, a manifestation of a national nostalgia that constantly harks back to a simpler age, when we had decent men prepared to lay down their lives for a cause they believed in, or just an excuse for the indolent males of England to eat twice their own body weight over these three weeks?

The flag we all should be flying is the Union Jack, for tomorrow is Armed Forces Day which quietly acknowledges the work our brave soldiers are doing, in conditions likely to test most of us, and aims to provide a much valued morale boost for the troops and their families.

Our footballers, some of which are as rotten and corrupt as our politicians, might like to support the real men and women of courage, who between them have kept England safe, and an island that lets you dress up in a football shirt, with a flag draped around your shoulders, if you choose to be a plonker.

June’s monthly musings

🚓 What Cab News

I’ve recently received this email from British Airways: “From trips to the airport to rides across town, getting around with Uber will help you get away sooner. If you haven’t already, simply link up your Uber and British Airways Executive Club accounts.” So there you have it, flying the flag with Uber.

🎧 What I’m Listening

Listening on BBC Sounds – Fever: The Hunt For Covid’s Origin, a chaos of cover-ups, coincidences, and conspiracy theories, this is one of the biggest questions of our time: Just where did Covid-19 come from?

📖 What I’m Reading

Christopher Fowler, who has recently died, wrote a series of detective novels featuring the Met’s Peculiar Crimes Unit, led by London’s longest-serving detectives, Arthur Bryant and John May who with their wits, idiosyncratic practices and a plentiful supply of boiled sweets solve London’s most perplexing crimes. I’m reading book two (of 18) The Water Room.

📺 What I’m watching

Playing out on Drama TV is Just Good Friends, it was written by John Sullivan who was starting to write at the time Only Fools and Horses, it has all the clever hallmarks of this brilliant wordsmith.

❓ What else

I have this ritual when booking into a hotel, probably because I’ve watched too many 1970s disaster movies, the first thing I check out is the fire escapes. So when Zedwell Hotel opened “London’s first and only underground hotel experience”, I was naturally curious as to how guests could evacuate above ground onto Tottenham Court Road. The hotel is, of course, spinning this as a feature, billing itself as a place “designed to prioritise sleep, positive health, and overall wellbeing.”

Soon London cabbies will be a rarity

Alarm bells started to ring at TfL with the disclosure that the number of students currently being tested to become London taxi drivers has fallen to its lowest level yet, to just 552. In November 2019 the number of candidates studying the Knowledge of London (‘KoL’) at the testing stages, otherwise known as ‘Appearances’, dropped below 1,000 for the first time and stood at 943. In addition, 714 candidates had not yet reached the testing stages but were signed on to the KoL and learning the capital’s road network. Fast forward post-pandemic restrictions to August 2021 and the number of KoL candidates at the testing stages tumbled further to just 552, and worryingly only a further 363 candidates are currently waiting to reach the testing stages. Unsurprisingly TfL now no longer publish the results relating to the number of KoL students actively learning, so a cynic like myself could conclude that those in the early stages could now only be in double figures, and as around 70 per cent of students training to become licensed London taxi drivers DO NOT COMPLETE the Knowledge of London testing process, in two years we could be seeing only a couple of dozen qualifying a year.

Johnson’s London Dictionary: Open Air Theatre

OPEN AIR THEATRE (n.) Situated in Regent’s Park that doth stage performances of Midsummer Night’s Dream to children’s amusement when Bottom or Puck do appear.

Dr. Johnson’s London Dictionary for publick consumption in the twenty-first century avail yourself on Twitter @JohnsonsLondon

Taxi Talk Without Tipping