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A Licensed Black London Cab Driver I share my London with you . . . The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Test Your Knowledge: August

Death is the subject today, something that comes to all of us sooner or later. As before the correct answer will turn green when it’s clicked upon and expanded to give more information. The incorrect answers will turn red giving the correct explanation.

1. Even in death, Steve Marsh received a parking ticket. Why?
He was buried beneath a replica marble headstone of a BMW
CORRECT In May 2010 Steve Marsh, a BMW fanatic was buried beneath a £50,000 1-tonne life-sized marble replica M3 convertible in Manor Park Cemetery and a parking ticket was affixed to the windscreen.
He was a funeral director and his hearse was double-parked
WRONG In May 2010 Steve Marsh, a BMW fanatic was buried beneath a £50,000 1-tonne life-sized marble replica M3 convertible in Manor Park Cemetery and a parking ticket was affixed to the windscreen.
The night he died his car had been stolen and parked on a red route
WRONG In May 2010 Steve Marsh, a BMW fanatic was buried beneath a £50,000 1-tonne life-sized marble replica M3 convertible in Manor Park Cemetery and a parking ticket was affixed to the windscreen.
2. Why did Pawel Modzelewski’s demise go unnoticed?
Tradition has it that anyone sleeping in Polish Club is left undisturbed
WRONG On 19 January 2009 Pawel Modzelewski travelled the 19 bus for six hours unnoticed after dying the previous day and was left in the garage overnight.
He died on a bus and was found the next day in the bus garage
CORRECT On 19 January 2009 Pawel Modzelewski travelled the 19 bus for six hours unnoticed after dying the previous day and was left in the garage overnight.
Before the Underground changed he lay undisturbed going around the Circle Line for a whole day
WRONG On 19 January 2009 Pawel Modzelewski travelled the 19 bus for six hours unnoticed after dying the previous day and was left in the garage overnight.
3. Why did the death of Martial Bourdin start a riot?
He blew himself up
CORRECT In February 1894 in Greenwich Park anarchist, Martial Bourdin accidentally blew himself en route to blowing up the Royal Observatory. His funeral sparked riots by 15,000 near the Autonomie Anarchist Club, 6 Windmill Street.
He was killed by the police
WRONG In February 1894 in Greenwich Park anarchist, Martial Bourdin accidentally blew himself en route to blowing up the Royal Observatory. His funeral sparked riots by 15,000 near the Autonomie Anarchist Club, 6 Windmill Street.
He was assassinated on the Government’s order
WRONG In February 1894 in Greenwich Park anarchist, Martial Bourdin accidentally blew himself en route to blowing up the Royal Observatory. His funeral sparked riots by 15,000 near the Autonomie Anarchist Club, 6 Windmill Street.
4. Why does 9 Curzon Place, Mayfair hold a curious London reputation for death?
Ghosts who reputedly committed suicide to haunt the premises
WRONG Flat 12, 9 Curzon Place was where Cass Elliot of Mamas and Papas died in 1974 of a heart attack. The flat was on loan from singer-songwriter Harry Nilsson. Four years later, The Who’s drummer Keith Moon died in the same room. They were both aged 32 years.
It was the scene of a gangland massacre in the 1950s
WRONG Flat 12, 9 Curzon Place was where Cass Elliot of Mamas and Papas died in 1974 of a heart attack. The flat was on loan from singer-songwriter Harry Nilsson. Four years later, The Who’s drummer Keith Moon died in the same room. They were both aged 32 years.
Two rock stars have met their demise here
CORRECT Flat 12, 9 Curzon Place was where Cass Elliot of Mamas and Papas died in 1974 of a heart attack. The flat was on loan from singer-songwriter Harry Nilsson. Four years later, The Who’s drummer Keith Moon died in the same room. They were both aged 32 years.
5. How did the Necropolis Railway Company offer to transport the dead?
It offered first, second and third class one-way tickets
CORRECT The Necropolis Railway Company transported coffins from Waterloo to Brockwood Cemetery customers could choose between first, second and third class.
It offered viewing windows in its carriages for mourners to pay their respects as the train passed by
WRONG The Necropolis Railway Company transported coffins from Waterloo to Brockwood Cemetery customers could choose between first, second and third class.
The train driver wore a dark suit along with black gloves, a hatband and cravat
WRONG The Necropolis Railway Company transported coffins from Waterloo to Brockwood Cemetery customers could choose between first, second and third class.
6. On 17th October 1814 eight people met an untimely and unusual end, but what was the cause of their demise?
The Great London Earthquake
WRONG Beer was the drink of choice as the water was often unsafe. The demand led to brewers constructing huge vats as an economical way of producing the beverage. One such vat burst its hoops which in turn ruptured nearby vats. Eventually, more than 323,000 gallons became a tsunami drowning 8 people. The Dominion Theatre stands on the site of the ill-fated Horseshoe Brewery.
The Great Beer Flood
CORRECT Beer was the drink of choice as the water was often unsafe. The demand led to brewers constructing huge vats as an economical way of producing the beverage. One such vat burst its hoops which in turn ruptured nearby vats. Eventually, more than 323,000 gallons became a tsunami drowning 8 people. The Dominion Theatre stands on the site of the ill-fated Horseshoe Brewery.
The Great London Fireworks Display
WRONG Beer was the drink of choice as the water was often unsafe. The demand led to brewers constructing huge vats as an economical way of producing the beverage. One such vat burst its hoops which in turn ruptured nearby vats. Eventually, more than 323,000 gallons became a tsunami drowning 8 people. The Dominion Theatre stands on the site of the ill-fated Horseshoe Brewery.
7. Which London cemetery is divided into a western half and an eastern half by Swains Lane?
Kensal Green
WRONG Perhaps the best-known cemetery in London, Highgate is the final resting place for many famous people, including Karl Marx, George Eliot and Michael Faraday.
Brompton
WRONG Perhaps the best-known cemetery in London, Highgate is the final resting place for many famous people, including Karl Marx, George Eliot and Michael Faraday.
Highgate
CORRECT Perhaps the best-known cemetery in London, Highgate is the final resting place for many famous people, including Karl Marx, George Eliot and Michael Faraday.
8. What is unusual about the memorial in Kensal Green Cemetery to the 19th-century circus performer Andrew Ducrow?
There is a marble elephant on the top of it
WRONG Originally decorated with stone sphinxes painted in bright colours that have since faded, Ducrow who was an equestrian performer and the proprietor of the famous Astley’s Amphitheatre in the middle of the 19th-century, has one of the most elaborate of all the mausoleums in Kensal Green Cemetery.
The inscription on it is written in Sanskrit
WRONG Originally decorated with stone sphinxes painted in bright colours that have since faded, Ducrow who was an equestrian performer and the proprietor of the famous Astley’s Amphitheatre in the middle of the 19th-century, has one of the most elaborate of all the mausoleums in Kensal Green Cemetery.
It is decorated with stone sphinxes
CORRECT Originally decorated with stone sphinxes painted in bright colours that have since faded, Ducrow who was an equestrian performer and the proprietor of the famous Astley’s Amphitheatre in the middle of the 19th-century, has one of the most elaborate of all the mausoleums in Kensal Green Cemetery.
9. Whose ‘auto-icon’ still sits in a glass-fronted case in University College, London, more than a century-and-a-half after he died?
Jeremy Bentham’s
CORRECT When moral philosopher Jeremy Bentham died in 1832, he left a will with specific instructions on the ‘disposal and preservation of the several parts of my bodily frame’. His skeleton was to be ‘clad in one of the suits of black occasionally worn by me’ and seated upright on a chair, under a placard reading ‘Auto Icon’. Bentham further suggested that his corpse might then be able to preside over regular meetings of his utilitarian followers. He attends every UCL Council meeting and is always recorded as ‘present but not voting’, except when the Council is split on a motion. On those rare occasions, he gets a vote, and always votes in favour of the motion, due to his mischievous personality.
John Stuart Mill’s
WRONG When moral philosopher Jeremy Bentham died in 1832, he left a will with specific instructions on the ‘disposal and preservation of the several parts of my bodily frame’. His skeleton was to be ‘clad in one of the suits of black occasionally worn by me’ and seated upright on a chair, under a placard reading ‘Auto Icon’. Bentham further suggested that his corpse might then be able to preside over regular meetings of his utilitarian followers. He attends every UCL Council meeting and is always recorded as ‘present but not voting’, except when the Council is split on a motion. On those rare occasions, he gets a vote, and always votes in favour of the motion, due to his mischievous personality.
Benjamin Disraeli’s
WRONG When moral philosopher Jeremy Bentham died in 1832, he left a will with specific instructions on the ‘disposal and preservation of the several parts of my bodily frame’. His skeleton was to be ‘clad in one of the suits of black occasionally worn by me’ and seated upright on a chair, under a placard reading ‘Auto Icon’. Bentham further suggested that his corpse might then be able to preside over regular meetings of his utilitarian followers. He attends every UCL Council meeting and is always recorded as ‘present but not voting’, except when the Council is split on a motion. On those rare occasions, he gets a vote, and always votes in favour of the motion, due to his mischievous personality.
10. What ‘first’ did Colonel Pierpoint admire before he died?
The first pedestrian crossing
WRONG At his expense in 1864 Colonel Pierpoint had London’s first traffic island constructed in St. James’s Street opposite his club in Pall Mall. On its completion, his excitement (and possible inebriation) encouraged him to dash across the road to admire his contribution to society. Alas, he was knocked down and killed by a passing cab.
The world’s first traffic island
CORRECT At his expense in 1864 Colonel Pierpoint had London’s first traffic island constructed in St. James’s Street opposite his club in Pall Mall. On its completion, his excitement (and possible inebriation) encouraged him to dash across the road to admire his contribution to society. Alas, he was knocked down and killed by a passing cab.
The first traffic light
WRONG At his expense in 1864 Colonel Pierpoint had London’s first traffic island constructed in St. James’s Street opposite his club in Pall Mall. On its completion, his excitement (and possible inebriation) encouraged him to dash across the road to admire his contribution to society. Alas, he was knocked down and killed by a passing cab.

The London Grill: Charley Harrison

We challenge our contributors to reply to ten devilishly probing questions about their London and we don’t take “Sorry Gov” for an answer. Everyone sitting in the hot seat they will face the same questions ranging from their favourite way to spend a day out in the capital to their most hated building on London’s skyline to find out what Londoners really think about their city. The questions are the same but the answers vary wildly.

 

Charley is a London tour guide, life-long Londoner and founder of Totally Tailored – an award-winning private tour company providing premium experiences in the UK (and soon the rest of Europe!). Once a week she Live-streams a tour from the top of a different London public bus. To keep up to date with this, join the private Facebook group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/livefromalondonbus

What’s your secret London tip?

Get to know London’s public buses – the best way to see the city is from the top deck.

What’s your secret London place?

Octavia’s Hill’s garden (Redcross Gardens in Borough).

What’s your biggest gripe about London?

That so many people have to work such long hours to live here.

What’s your favourite building?

The Tower of London – 1,000 years of history and still standing!

What’s your most hated building?

Strata Tower, Elephant and Castle. The three wind turbines at the top were intended to power the building. However, due to a fault (too noisy), they have never been switched on. An example of Green-washing (green credentials that are just for show and do nothing to help).

What’s the best view in London?

From the Duck and Waffle Restaurant, Heron Tower at night.

What’s your personal London landmark?

I have a favourite piece of Ben Wilson’s chewing gum art on Millenium Bridge. It’s St Pauls’ and the bridge in miniature.

What’s London’s best film, book or documentary?

Craig Taylor’s Londoners each chapter is from the perspective of a different Londoner, from a dominatrix to an Oligarch. It really sums up the diverse people that make this city.

What’s your favourite bar, pub or restaurant?

Jumi – Iraqi food stall, now do seated evening meals within Borough Market. Great people, great food, great atmosphere.

How would you spend your ideal day off in London?

Cycling to a new cafe to people-watching in a residential area I’ve not been to before. Jumping on a friend’s canal boat from Camden, doing a few locks, jumping off a local park to feed the birds (parroquets if we’re lucky). Posh dinner at Annabel’s or the Duck and Waffle before a film at an independent cinema like Notting Hill’s Electric or Bermondsey’s Kino. Cycle home via my local pub for a swift hello and pint.

 

London in Quotations: Ambrose Bierce

Respirator, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

Ambrose Bierce (1843-1914), The Devil’s Dictionary

London Trivia: Looks like rain

On 1 August 1861 The Times published the first ever weather forecast for the general public. Admiral Robert Fitzroy was its inceptor. He was reprimanded, despite the ‘forecast’ being correct, as his superiors did not believe his predictions were accurate. We have been criticising their accuracy ever since.

On 1 August 1715 the first Doggett’s Coat and Badge race, the oldest rowing contest in the world, took place on the Thames, starting at London Bridge and ending in Chelsea

Chancery Lane takes its name from the 14th century Court of Chancery administered by the Lord Chancellor’s personal staff, the Chancery

Charing Cross was a hamlet known as Charing derived from Anglo-Saxon word cerring meaning ‘bend’ its position by a large bend in the Thames

Canning Town once had no roads, pavements, drains, fresh water, houses built below high tide level behind embankments were damp and flooded

The London Silver Vaults opened 1876 survived a direct hit by a German bomb in World War II that completely obliterated the building above

Jeremy Sandford’s much acclaimed 1966 BBC play Cathy Come Home directed by Ken Loach was partly filmed on Popham Street, Islington

Kensington Olympia opened in 1886 as the National Agricultural Hall on the site of a vineyard and market gardens in Kensington High Street

Chesham the start for the Tube Challenge visiting all stations on the network in the fastest time first completed in 1959 latest 16 hours 29 minutes 57 seconds

The original Tube escalators ended with a diagonal so it finished sooner on the right leading to the etiquette of standing on the right

Cannon Street was known as Candelwrichstrete meaning ‘candle maker street’ after the many candlestick makers that had set up residence

Olympia proved popular with King Edward VII who requisitioned a private suite as a secret rendezvous for liaisons with his many mistresses

CabbieBlog-cab.gifTrivial Matter: London in 140 characters is taken from the daily Twitter feed @cabbieblog.
A guide to the symbols used here and source material can be found on the Trivial Matter page.

Driving Lessons

Ten things you learn when learning to drive and passing your test in London

If you live here and want to learn to drive, London’s probably where you’re going to do it. A word of warning – don’t it’s not for the faint-hearted. I know my son is a driving instructor.

1. You’ll need a master of the ancient Buddhist practice of meditation to mentor you

Navigating London by car takes the patience of a saint, everyone, and I mean everyone, drives like an idiot. Shop around online for instructors with reviews that include keywords like: ‘calm’, ‘understanding’, ‘relaxed’ and ‘didn’t swear at me when I did an emergency stop in the middle of Hyde Park Corner’.

2. Don’t take someone sounding their horn personally

You’ll get beeped for pausing three seconds to let a little old lady slowly cross at a pedestrian crossing, just relax into that. In plenty of situations, your fellow motorist will helpfully second guess what you’re about to do wrong and honk you before you’ve even done it. Driving a cab I would be disappointed should I not be reminded of any hesitation or transgression.

3. Don’t expect to travel faster than 15mph (or should that now be 24.14016km/h?)

The fact is, if you manage to travel at the blistering speed of 20mph for more than 60 continuous seconds in central London, you’re probably in the bus lane, thus giving the London Mayor £80 to waste on bike lanes.

4. Use Zipcars to practice

The trouble with passing your test, if you don’t have your own car, is staying street-wise, once in a while it makes sense to go for a quick spin. While Zipcar et al aren’t thrifty, they’re still far cheaper than advanced lessons by the hour and there’s no faffy paperwork/credit card nonsense that comes with many car hire companies.

5. Manuals are very . . . well manual

If you don’t fancy changing gear more times than the government changes Covid advice, an automatic transmission is for you. You’re not likely to get into third gear, let alone fourth, fifth or sixth in central London. So instead of contemplating which gear you last selected, concentrate on that cyclist about to commit hara-kiri beneath your wheels.

6. You’ll suddenly feel an affinity for drivers

As a dyed-in-the-wool pedestrian, it’s easy to badmouth cars for little things like blocking zebra crossings, mounting the pavement and giving off a general air of wanting to mow you down. With your sudden transformation into a driver, prepare to experience the other side of the story: Low Traffic Neighbourhoods are tougher to escape than the Crystal Maze; Pedestrians idly strolling out in front of you like they’re at the Chelsea Flower Show; E-scooters falling out of the sky; and taxis deciding to show off their tight turning circle as you approach. Nobody is your friend, it’s a jungle out there.

7. If you can drive in London, you can drive anywhere

Except maybe Rome, Buenos Aires, Mumbai and Hanoi . . . hang on, let us rephrase that. If you can drive in London, you shouldn’t have any problems in Guildford, just give Glasgow a miss for the moment.

8. There are one or two ‘magical moments’ to compensate for the rest

Driving’s often a chore, and in London’s rush hour you probably identify with Edvard Munch’s painting of The Scream. But being behind the wheel does bless you with one or two magical moments. Like driving over the Albert Bridge at night, tourists looking surprised you’ve stopped to let them cross or seeing the BMW which cut you up is now stuck behind a tipper truck.

9. Don’t tell your friends of your brilliant achievement

Bragging about your life skills and qualifications can suppress most conversations. Admitting you can drive in London will qualify you to be the ‘nominated’ driver for the next few nights out.

10. Expect wear and tear

So you have ill-advisedly taken the plunge, or been persuaded by Rylan Clark-Neal to purchase a vehicle. Don’t expect it to remain pristine, despite the Clean Air Act, crap falls from the sky like snow. London has some world-class potholes, holes and humps proliferate Islington, drive faster than 8mph at your peril. Also, London drivers take pride in their ability to pass a vehicle leaving barely room for a cigarette paper between them.

And as a bonus: You don’t really need to drive in London

Being able to drive is a life skill, doubly so being able to drive in London. But the latter should be used sparingly like driving a pregnant woman to the hospital. Otherwise, London has one of the best transport networks anywhere, so as soon as you pass your test, reserve a car for your next countryside getaway, then celebrate by taking the tube, thus rewarding Sadiq Khan with the price of the fare, and not the congestion charge.

Image courtesy: Styles-Steering Driving School