Potpourri of Whinges

Easy Riders

It’s about time other road users where allowed into bus lanes. They should also have the same restrictions on their use; while at present different vehicles are permitted into them. All bus lanes should be open for licensed black cabs (well, I would say that), also why are motorcycles not allowed to use them? But please, just keep out the mini cabs.

Young Blades

The further Americanisation of London is continuing along with the graffiti, crap mini cabs and a falling currency against the Euro. We now have the roller skaters ‘reclaiming the streets’. Every last Friday of the month an army of skaters converge on London’s night scene, carrying loud music players with marshals illegally directing traffic at road junctions and even sometimes a police escort, I have even seen The Boys In Blue skating alongside these twits. What’s the next move towards America; do I start speaking Spanish, not know my way to any major hotel and eat bagels for breakfast?

Road to Riches

Does anyone think that road space should be allocated according to your financial standing; it’s what you expect from a military junta in Africa, where the cost of disruption is measured only by the amount of bribes that have to be paid to corrupt local officials.

I guess our attitude is that we don’t like being pushed around just because someone has more money and thus more political clout than everyone else.

So what is happening at the Scotch House in Knightsbridge? The road has been reduced in width for over a year, traffic has been re-routed around a succession of cranes, lorries and skips and the traffic queues back for miles for most of the day and night. Why? Are we getting a new hospital, police or fire station?

That will be a no then, because all of this chaos confusion and serious disruption to millions of Londoners and visitors; is to facilitate some super rich property company to build some seriously expensive apartments, (rumours of £100 million for the penthouses abound), to sell for enormous profits to rich Arabs.

Maybe it’s not like America we are becoming, but Zimbabwe, now there’s a thought for you as you eat your cornflakes at breakfast.

It’s the Economy Stupid

Mornin’ Gov’nor, had The Monochrome Man in the cab recently, you know The Chancellor of the Exchequer. Picked him up outside Downing Street and by the time we arrived at his destination I had offered my opinion on how his department had let me down with my pension (more about that probably on a future blog). He had left my cab before I could advise him on his failure at running the economy. So just in case he reads this blog here goes:

[C]redit Crunch is the buzz word at the moment, but the availability of cheap credit is the least of our problems at the moment, unless you are a builder or an estate agent.

Energy prices are rising faster than at any time in living memory, and if that’s not enough we are dependent on our supply from some very unstable countries, and do you know this Government have made no effort to build storage facilities so we can buy cheap gas in summer and store it for winter consumption, talk about irresponsible.

This Government has borrowed more money (£43 billion and rising) than any country in the top 50 economies except Egypt, Pakistan and Hungary.

Official inflation is now at 5 per cent, but anyone on the street is likely to tell you they believe it is more likely to be 8 per cent.

Unemployment is now starting to rise and Google are saying one of the fastest growing searches is employers finding out about their responsibilities when they make their staff redundant.

This Government has allowed building societies to loan up to 7 times a persons’ salary with no checks upon their ability to repay the loan, now with interest rates rising only slightly, we are seeing repossessions in spades . Houses in the South-East are inflated by 30 per cent, with first-time buyers looking at starter homes dearer than their annual salary by a multiple of six and not four as it has always been in the past.

But the real elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about, is the unsecured borrowing, such as through credit cards, overdrafts and loans, which has soared to £22 billion during the first three months of this year, that this Government has actively encouraged people to take on, and hopefully making them feel good and take their eyes off what a load of incompetent twats this Administration really are.

And do you know the real tragedy of all this is? Those very men and women who could run this country spend all their time driving taxis in London. What a waste!

But do you know that you only have to ask your driver for advice on economics and they are more than likely to give it gratis.

Stop Press (stop blog hasn’t the same impact)

The Government in an effort to save their jobs recently announced: It is suspending stamp duty for properties worth up to £175,000 – £50,000 more than the current threshold. Also included is a shared equity scheme, and “free” five-year loans of up to 30 per cent for some first-time buyers.

Chariots of Fire?

pink-content1Just thought might like to look at this crappy logo again, it really sums up the London Games.

In case you haven’t noticed there is a little bit of building work going on in East London, apparently it’s the biggest project in Europe.

The London Olympics are going to cost £9.3 billion, that’s £9,300,000,000 to you and me, and we are going to pay for it, God knows how with Government borrowing nudging up to nearly 50 per cent of GDP.

[I]t now seems that almost 2,000 chauffeured cars will be available for the 450 people in the top tiers of the ‘Olympic Family’ none of them athletes. These people are staying in top hotels in the West End (all 5-star hotels are now fully booked for the Games). They are staying at these hotels apparently because their spouses like to shop while their husbands are pouncing around in East London, and they don’t want to travel far to get to Harrods.

So while wifee shops her husband is chauffeured across the whole of London holding us up as we try to work.

On busy stretches of the ‘Olympic Route Network’ special traffic lanes will be reserved for their cars, while everybody will be jammed in what’s left of the carriageway.

But wait, those political geniuses who are planning this event have forecast traffic volumes will be substantially down as people will all take their annual holidays at this time.

They don’t live in the real world do they? Are they really saying all business will close in London for three weeks? Everybody will go on holiday or watch the games at home. Can you imagine telling owners of companies that they must close up shop for 3 weeks?

As for these 4 yearly demonstrations of jingoistic vanity, cannot we always hold them in Greece where they were born?

Each competing country could contribute a small sum so the venues were kept world class. Greece could certainly benefit from the income. And maybe, just maybe the 9.3bn could actually be spent on improving areas of severe deprivation, such as East London or the North West of England and not spent on massaging the egos of these vain men and women.

If these mendacious politicians really want to advertise London, they could start by keeping it as the tourists expect; Routemasters, black taxis without adverts, lack of skyscrapers ruining London’s skyline, curbing the illegal vendors on Westminster Bridge.

God I could go on and on . . . .

Did I get Gold for my rant?

It Ain’t Half Hot Mum

carfloodthmb11 For the last decade we have been regaled by the eco warriors that we are causing ‘Global Warming’, if don’t change our ways man alone will change our planet forever . . . what arrogance, as if Man will change this planet forever!

Have you noticed after having a succession of average summers it is now being called Climate Change and not Global Warming?

[J]uly and August, are on average the warmest months of the year in most parts of the England, and these months do from time to time comprise a succession of days of Mediterranean-blue skies, blazing sunshine, and soaring temperatures, but these months are rare enough to become imprinted on the community memory – 1911, 1933, 1959, 1976, and 1995, for instance. Surely if we were experiencing global warming these events would occur almost every other year.

But it suits this mendacious Government, to prevent climate change they say, to get us to recycle everything, with the appropriate revenue raising penalties if we have the temerity to put an article in the wrong container or, shock horror, leave the wheelie bin lid ajar. The reality of course is that all they are doing is following Europe’s dictates on the amount of land fill allowed to be dumped.

Large volumes of what people meticulously sort ends up in the Third World where the poor are paid a pittance to sort out again. Or as shown in a recent documentary, some of ends up as land fill near an elephant conservation area in India.

Our parents who went through a war did not have to be told to sort out their rubbish, by habitually kept everything that was of use, composted organics and just threw away the remainder.

Balmy (sorry for the temperature pun) researchers John Latham of the University of Manchester and Stephen Salter of the University of Edinburgh have proposed a radical idea that could, they claim counter the warming effect caused by increased CO2 emissions and induce cooling.

The idea is to develop a fleet of wind powered cloud seeding yachts. These yachts would pump salty sea water particles into the air, thus increasing the reflectivity of clouds covering 25 per cent of the world’s water mass. By increasing the amount of solar energy reflected back into space, this form of cloud seeding would have a cooling effect on the earth’s atmosphere. The 1,000 yachts needed would be unmanned and operated via GPS positioning and operate in the southern oceans, their cost is estimated at £2 million each.

Cab drivers have less ambitious plans, but we are also trying to do our bit; we are recycling our anecdotes for anyone who is trapped in the back of our cabs. You’ll never guess what I said to David Beckham last week . . .

I’ve Got The Hump

Kwik Fit Fitters could be the sponsors for these carbuncles growing on virtually every street in The Capital.

Every regular driver in the City knows to their cost these humps inflect on the suspension.

Last week I encountered 127 road humps on a single shift, yes I know I’m an anorak but I derive a perverse pleasure compiling these statistics.

[P]utting in 50 standard humps on three or four connecting residential streets costs about £150,000 and some of the more upmarket ones are wonderful works of art, worthy of exhibiting in the Tate.

In the Borough of Islington they have even constructed humps on short cul-de-sacs, now it is proposed to remove them and impose a blanket 20 mph on all roads in their borough.

Some of my customers even ask me to make detours of up to a mile to avoid these obstructions in Islington and have you noticed the nouveau rich now buy 4x4s just so they can travel over these humps at 40mph, while the rest of us mere mortals, apart from white van man can only go at only half their speed?

Do emergency vehicle drivers have to wear gum protectors to spare their teeth when on a shout?

So here’s my suggestion, if we are to keep vehicle speeds down to a reasonable level, cameras loads of them. Okay I know we have more CCTV cameras in London than we can shake a stick at, and average speed cameras are useless as journey times across the Metropolis are down to Victorian averages. A set of eight average-speed cameras covering four residential streets cost £250,000.

Produce the cheaper normal speed cameras concealed in hanging baskets and stick them on every lamppost, a double whammy, beautiful streets and an income for The Burgers of London.

And you never know Rachel Thame might be tempted on Gardener’s World to extol the virtues of speed cameras in hanging baskets, or should she appear on Top Gear with Jeremy Clarkson.

Don’t get caught speeding, travel by Licensed Black Taxis for your comfort and security. Complementary opinions are available on current affairs, politics and football. Ask any driver for details!

Taxi talk without tipping

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