How many takeaways!?”

How many takeaways do you need? Like many others, our high street, built in the 1930s, is transmogrifying rapidly.

When we arrived here there were greengrocers, butchers, a fishmonger, hardware shops, Sainsbury’s, Woolworths, and yes we even had four banks.

So for context (and to save you the trouble) I’ve counted the current retail outlets we now have here:

Two tech shops, one pub, a bookie, a plumber’s supplier, a dry cleaner, a florist, a card shop, a key cutter and a solicitor. Business must be brisk for funeral directors as we have two, probably due to the local diet, plus two dentists.

What we excel in are hairdressers and takeaways, you are spoiled for choice should you need a haircut, a tan or a nail bar with 11 to choose from.

But it is ready-to-eat food where we triumph. Should you wish to walk down our high street shovelling food into your mouth, and ensuring the packaging is disposed of by carefully dropping it on the pavement, we have 24 outlets.

You can always identify someone from around here, they’re fat, but immaculately groomed.

6 thoughts on “How many takeaways!?””

  1. 2 recent stories.
    A friend went to view a flat, or what we used to call a bedsit but is now referred to as a studio. They mentioned to the agent that it didn’t have a cooking area, a hob or oven. The reply was that the area had many takeaways and restaurants.
    A conversation overheard in the back of the cab. A girl, having recently moved in with her boyfriend was asked who did most/all the cooking. The reply was that it had a only been a few weeks and they hadn’t cooked at the flat yet.


  2. In our local high street in Dereham (just over 3 miles away) there are only 3 takeaways; Chinese, Kebab/Burger, Fish and Chips. But we have 11 charity shops, 10 female hairdressers/beauty parlours and 2 barbers, 2 vape shops, plus 4 estate agents.
    There are 2 Indian restaurants and a pizza place that do deliveries, but you have to phone them for that.
    Beetley has no shops of any kind, just a Thai (sit down) restaurant at the end of the village.
    Cheers, Pete.


    1. Most of the places where we go to eat are pubs with restaurants. There seems to be no shortage of people with money to spend on eating out here, and you always have to book in advance. We do use the better of the two Indian places in town, mostly for eating in, but occasionally for deliveries.


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