I’ve just been on holiday in Dorset: banks of wildflowers by the side of the road; manicured roundabouts; and clean streets. Upon my return, I realised that I missed a Festival of Litter when the local populace gets the opportunity to decorate their streets with brightly coloured wrappers, breaking up the monotony of grey pavements by liberally peppering them with chewing gun, and ensuring the survival of local wildlife by distributing chips and half-eaten burgers. Next year I’ll ensure that I don’t miss this important event.