Tag Archives: Royal Family

Crowns, coronets, coronations and cock-ups

It was, I think Cecil Rhodes who, without a trace of irony, stated:

Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life.

He might have said those words with more than a hint of arrogance but as we have seen these past few weeks we are still blessed with the continuity that a Constitutional Monarchy gives and pride we can have by being British.

With such a long pedigree as a nation, it is not surprising that we have many traditions surrounding our Monarchs and some remarkably remain with us to this day while alas many barmy ones have been abandoned. It is those curious and quirky anachronisms which bind us together and make us proud to live in this Sceptred Isle.

Here is my Continuity Constitutional Trivia:

A Monarch’s spurs

Samuel Pepys loved to see a lady who ‘showed off her pretty, neat legs and ankles’, unfortunately for brandy-loving Queen Anne when her turn came to be crowned her ankles had grown too fat for a functionary to buckle on a new pair of spurs and so this quaint custom was abandoned.

Quiet at the back

When George III was crowned the service went on for so long – six hours – that the congregation decided they were hungry and sat down to eat, drowning out the ceremony with the clattering of their knives and forks.

Who nicked the silver?

When Charles II was to be crowned, marking the restoration of the monarchy, the ceremony had to be postponed as Cromwell had disposed of all the appropriate regalia.

Which finger

The Archbishop of Canterbury is usually a fellow well past his prime, and thus it proved when Queen Victoria was crowned. The Coronation Ring had to be made smaller for her dainty finger, the incompetent cleric then jammed on the ring on the wrong finger and as a result, it got stuck and remained on the wrong finer for the rest of the ceremony.

Somebody has to clear up the mess

In 1953 after the Queen’s coronation, cleaning in the Abbey found three ropes of pearls, twenty brooches, six bracelets, twenty golden balls from peers’ coronets, most of a diamond necklace, numerous sandwich wrappers and an undisclosed but impressive quantity of empty half-bottles of spirits. It is not recorded who kept the booty.

Regal rag on bone men

Three families share the role of the Lord Great Chamberlain a title that has been in existence since Norman times. The present holder the Marquess of Cholmondeley – Lord Carrington’s family and the Earl of Ancaster stand in the wings chomping at the bit – in return for some minor coronation ceremonial duties has the right to demand anything the sovereign wears during the ceremony (including underclothes), also his or her bed, and incredibly the throne.

On the throne

Queen Anne was unable to sit on the throne (presumably left behind by the Lord Great Chamberlain) as she was so fat and gout-ridden she had to be carried into the Abbey in her own chair. Her statue outside St. Paul’s west front doesn’t do her justice, at the time of its creation she was at least twice that size. Catholic Mary I refused to park her trim bum on the seat asserting that it had been defiled by the ‘Protestant heretic’ her brother Edward VI.

Losing it

Henry IV trying his best to appear regal was hard pressed when he lost a shoe, followed by a spur from the other foot and finally to complete the indignity the wind blew the crown clean off his head.

The trouble with the ex

At the coronation of George IV prizefighters were engaged to bar his estranged and enraged wife who proceeded to spend much of the day battering the doors of Westminster Abbey, while wailing loudly that she had been barred.

Coronation chicken

George VI’s big day was ruined when the Lord Chamberlain, whilst having an attack of nerves, couldn’t fix the Sword of State his Majesty completed the task in hand. Next, a chaplain fainted and finally completing a hat trick the Archbishop of Canterbury put the crown on back to front.

Coronation cock-ups

buntingbuntingbuntingbunting

On the eve of Her Majesty’s Diamond Jubilee here is the second part of CabbieBlog’s Coronation trivia:

Regal rag on bone men

Three families share the role of the Lord Great Chamberlain a title that has been in existence since Norman times. The present holder the Marquess of Cholmondeley – Lord Carrington’s family and the Earl of Ancaster stand in the wings chomping at the bit – in return for some minor coronation ceremonial duties has the right to demand anything the sovereign wears during the ceremony (including underclothes), also his or her bed, and incredibly the throne.

On the throne

Queen Anne was unable to sit on the throne (presumably left behind by the Lord Great Chamberlain) as she was so fat and gout-ridden she had to be carried into the Abbey in her own chair. Her statue outside St. Paul’s west front doesn’t do her justice, at the time of its creation she was at least twice that size. Catholic Mary I refused to park her trim bum on the seat asserting that it had been defiled by the ‘Protestant heretic’ her brother Edward VI.

Losing it

Henry IV trying his best to appear regal was hard pressed when he lost a shoe, followed by a spur from the other foot and finally to complete the indignity the wind blew the crown clean off his head.

Trouble with the ex

At the coronation of George IV prize fighters were engaged to bar his estranged and enraged wife who proceeded to spend much of the day battering the doors of Westminster Abbey, while wailing loudly that she had been barred.

Coronation chicken

George VI’s big day was ruined when the Lord Chamberlain, whilst having an attack of nerves, couldn’t fix the Sword of State his Majesty completed the task in hand. Next a chaplain fainted and finally completing a hat trick the Archbishop of Canterbury put the crown on back to front.

Crowns, coronets and coronations

buntingbuntingbuntingbunting

It was, I think Cecil Rhodes who, without a trace of irony, stated: “Remember that you are an Englishman, and have consequently won first prize in the lottery of life.”

He might have said those words with more than a hint of arrogance but as we see this week we are blessed with the continuity that a Constitutional Monarchy gives and pride we can have by being British.

With such a long pedigree as a nation it is not surprising that we have many traditions surrounding our Monarchs and some surprisingly remain with us to this day while alas many barmy ones have been abandoned. It is those curious and quirky anachronisms which bind us together and make us proud to live in this Sceptred Isle.

This is the first part of Coronation Trivia:

A Monarch’s spurs

Samuel Pepys loved to see a lady who ‘showed off her pretty, neat legs and ankles’, unfortunately for brandy-loving Queen Anne when her turn came to be crowned her ankles had grown too fat for a functionary to buckle on a new pair of spurs and so this quaint custom was abandoned.

Quiet at the back

When George III was crowned the service went on for so long – six hours – that the congregation decided they were hungry and sat down to eat, drowning out the ceremony with the clattering of their knives and forks.

Who nicked the silver?

When Charles II was to be crowned, marking the restoration of the monarchy, the ceremony had to be postponed as Cromwell had disposed of all the appropriate regalia.

Which finger?

The Archbishop of Canterbury is usually a fellow well past his prime, and thus it proved when Queen Victoria was crowned. The Coronation Ring had to be made smaller for her dainty finger, the incompedent cleric then jammed on ring on the wrong finger and as a result it got stuck and remained on the wrong finer for the rest of the ceremony.

Somebody has to clear up the mess

In 1953 after the Queen’s coronation, cleaning in the Abbey found three ropes of pearls, twenty brooches, six bracelets, twenty golden balls from peers’ coronets, most of a diamond necklace, numerous sandwich wrappers and an undisclosed but impressive quantity of empty half-bottles of spirits. It is not recorded who kept the booty.

Kate’s a breath of fresh heir

After last weeks’ Royal Bash with a global audience estimated at two billion and at least one million lining the roads of London the lid has been firmly shut on republicanism again, at least for a few years.

These are the group who advocate ditching one thousand years of heritage and tradition and replacing it with the European model. The President of the European Council, Mr Herman Van Rompuy, in case it has slipped from your mind, is not given that position by the electorate, but is elected by members of the European Council, who are in the main as colourless as Brussels.

[V]isitors to London ask of me many questions concerning the Royals: Where do they live; when is the Changing of the Guard; did you see the wedding; will Harry marry? If the Republicans achieve their objectives, the Royal Palaces and homes will be turned into museums, all the pageantry will be dispensed with and our stamps and currency will be as bland as Brussels.

No tourist in my cab has ever asked to see David Cameron’s old home in Notting Hill and very few are even interested in seeing Downing Street – but Kensington Palace that’s very different.

The purpose of a Constitutional Monarchy, apart from generating tourism, is to remove absolute power from others who would desire it, and not about giving a privileged life to a large family group. That is the reason why technically the Monarch retains the right to: declare war on any foreign power; dismiss the government of the day; fire any civil servant they choose to; sell off the ships of the Royal Navy (that’s if we have any left); disband the Army; give away her Sovereign territory to a foreign power; ennoble anyone, or indeed everyone; and pardon everyone in gaol, then set them free. Parliamentary Bills have to receive the Royal Assent before passing into law, technically protecting the British people from mad politicians; it is also why all officers of the armed forces swear allegiance to the Monarch and not some fleeting President.

The Monarchy is the constant that runs through British life stretching back in history, and the Royal Family have been very astute over the years, their ability to morph every few years to reflect the country’s aspirations and ideals would seem to prove Darwin’s thesis: Survival of Species, for they have survived very well these last 450 years.

And if proof was needed that the majority of the country supports a Constitutional Monarchy, the recent surprise cinematic blockbuster, The King’s Speech, would seem to prove that our Monarchy is here to stay for some time to come. The film is loosely based on events in the 1930s featuring our current Queen’s father in the early years of his reign, now how many of us now could name the President of the United States who won by a landslide victory in 1936? Answers on a postcard with a stamp affixed bearing the Queen’s head; Britain being the only country in the world allowed to use the head of state’s symbol on its stamps.

Royal Wedding Cock-Ups

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[T]he bunting’s been put up; souvenir mugs purchased; we all have an extra day’s holiday; and all the participants have been practising for months. So what could possible go wrong?

Well, if the track records of Royal weddings have anything to go by, quite a bit.

Lady Diana Spencer at her marriage ceremony in St. Paul’s Cathedral referred to her husband to be as Philip instead of Charles, was she thinking he was her future father-in-law?

When Charles’ mum was married in 1949 at Westminster Abbey the future Queen’s bouquet went missing. It was eventually discovered in a refrigerator where it had been put by a helpful footman to keep it fresh. Later that day Prince Michael of Kent while serving as a page boy charged with carrying the bride’s train tripped and fell over.

When George IV first clapped eyes on his future bride, so shocked was he by her physical appearance was he, that he demanded a large brandy. Clearly the drinking didn’t stop, for on their wedding night Caroline complained he was horribly drunk and smoked a pipe in bed. She later was to stick pins in a wax effigy of the King and then threw it into the fire.

Charles I, more the gentleman insisted after his own nuptials that “you can get used to anyone’s face in a week”.

Frederick, Prince of Wales when marrying in 1736 found his bride Augusta of Saxe-Coburg had been sick down her wedding dress. That was the least of his problems, he died before being crowned.

A word of warning to the Archbishop of Canterbury, keep your sermon short. At Edward VII’s wedding so fed up with the length of the monotonous sermon the orchestra struck up to drown him out.

At least William has seen Katherine before the nuptials, Henry VIII was not so lucky, seriously disappointed he nicknamed her the Flanders Mare, declaring on her demise “God be praised, the old harridan is dead”.

William is only the second heir to the throne for 300 years to marry an English girl, the first was his dad, and hopefully this union will last.