The kipper season

The beginning of the year is known as The Kipper Season for reasons that have been lost in the mists of time. Traditionally it is one of the quietest times in London for the cab trade, so with a frustrating time trying to earn living cabbies can tend to be, shall we say, a little tetchy.

Yes, I know the inside of a cab is spacious, but seeing a passenger moving from seat to seat is extremely distracting when negotiating heavy traffic or travelling down a motorway.

McDonald’s go to extraordinary lengths to protect their corporate colours – they are red and yellow in case you haven’t noticed – a cab is black they shouldn’t be confused. Eat in McD’s not in a cab.

It is said the perfect dinner guest avoids religion and politics when engaging in conversion. This is the polar opposite to the perfect punter in a London cab. The merest hint on either of these subjects could unleash a torrent of polemic from the guy up front – discuss at your peril.

One of the greatest inventions towards the end of the last century was the mobile phone. It’s not a novelty anymore. Don’t use it while trying to instruct the cabbie as to your destination or making payment.

And speaking of tendering payment, wait until the vehicle has stopped before thrusting the readies through the partition.

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