LONDON PLANE (n.) Not to be confused with an aircraft (whatever that is), but a Georgian arboreal addition to London before the advent of the double-decker stagecoach, which now is much given to swerving to avoid branches.

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LONDON GIN (n.) Inexpensive alcohol-based tipples used to quell dissent much favoured William Hogarth’s satire.

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NEW YEAR’S DAY PARADE (n.) Annual walk around central London by 10,000 participants demonstrating the local council’s ability to remove 85 tonnes of street rubbish before the procession.

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TRAFALGAR SQUARE CHRISTMAS TREE (n.) Gift from Oslo that doth is displayed in London bedecked with single rows of lights that make the specimen resemble a rocket rather than a celebration of unity at Christmas.

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O2 ARENA (n.) Tent erected for the Millennia that lost a King’s ransom, that has transmogrified into the largest broadsheet for a purveyor of communications.

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