Out walking the dog today and saw a 4-inch long goldfish swimming happily in the River Rom. Might sell the story to Disney Studios they could call it . . . I know Finding Nemo. Who would put their goldfish into a river? At least there are no pike in the upper reaches of the River Rom, but if he goes into the River Lea, goodbye Nemo.

As a frequent user of hotel toilets (thank you very much chaps), I’m getting perplexed at the devices used to save water. The taps have a sensor to turn them on and off, but for some of them you have to wave at the sensor and then get your hands under the flow before the water turns off as the sensor doesn’t scan the washing area. That’s progress?

Driving down Marylebone Road with its 6 lane dual carriageway at 28mph (honest officer) having just passed Baker Street Station, some idiot runs across the road and he has to swerve to avoid me. There were at least 30 people by the pedestrian crossing waiting for the lights. He just couldn’t wait his turn, must have a death wish.

Tesco the ubiquitous retailer has its shops in almost every location. Take the one in Covent Garden it has because its loading bay in a road so small I defy most cabbies to be able to locate New Row. To stock, their store Tesco despatch an articulated lorry the size of a small house, its driver just about managing to manoeuvre his vehicle into the tight space. If that wasn’t enough the geniuses in charge of logistics send their lorry at the height of the evening’s theatre-going public arriving, so the driver has to contend with negotiating the vehicle as hundreds of people try to squeeze past and then try vainly to get into Strand past dozens of parked cars.