I have just made a disappointing discovery. With all this hoo-ha about forthcoming elections, I thought a quadrennial service might be coming our way. I’m not talking about the forthcoming general election. Nor the London Mayoral vote, as living in the extreme north-east of London, the current, and front runner is unlikely to improve our transport or living standards, as with an elderly population around here there are few votes to be gained for him.

No, this four-year service will arrive in 2 years, in time for the local elections. This ceremony, once performed with a broom, now one of those long-handle pickers will see our streets cleaned. Alas, the leader of our local authority has just announced bankruptcy in weeks, so that might spell the end of this ancient tradition.