When I was young you’d get a bus to the local swimming pool proffer sixpence and the heated water awaited. Not so today: 1. download an app on your smartphone; 2. register yourself on the app; 3. obtain an entry card; 4. link card to your app; 5. choose your preferred pool; 6. book and pay for a swim; 7. gain entry using said card. Simples as they say.

Twice I’ve had only 10 minutes’ notice of the pool’s closure only to receive an email the next day informing me:

You are receiving this e-mail because our records show that you did not attend a Swimming Session which you had booked for yesterday at Central Park…We are asking all customers to please be considerate of others when booking sessions. We have limited spaces available, especially at peak times, so if you are unable to attend your session please cancel at least 4 hours in advance so we can offer the space to others…Thank you for your cooperation in this matter and we look forward to seeing you in-centre soon.