Sartorial sponsorship

I read last week that Abercrombie and Fitch are to pay Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino.

No I haven’t heard of him either. He is apparently a star of MTV’s hit reality show Jersey Shore and is being paid a small fortune NOT to wear their iconic clothing.

So it occurred to me that an approach could be made to Marks & Spencer with a similar proposition.

[N]ow, I’m the first to admit that when driving a cab my sartorial sense and that of my colleagues leaves a little to be desired, unlike the model confidently sporting Mark and Spencer’s Blue Harbour range who always looks relaxed and elegant clearly an image the company wish to promote.

Compare and contrast that look with some of my colleagues; one wears a fedora, promoting the advertising on his cab, very elegant in Cuba, a little incongruous in the front of a London cab; others support baseball caps, while a favourite in winter is your woollen tea cosy. Mind you it’s hardly surprising that head protection is deemed de rigueur by some cabbies; during heavy rain my last cab would deposit a copious deluge upon my head whenever I braked.

Another problem known as leather a**e is the result of sitting too long, for when alighting from one’s cab, a view of your rear resembles that of an elephant leaving a firm of French polishers. With a crumpled shirt from wearing a seat belt for 10 hours and a wrinkled countenance courtesy of just about every driver in London we hardly have the clean youthful looks promoted by fashion gurus.

If you want stylish looks you have to look to our aquatic cousins the gondoliers of Venice who are probably the most elegant cabbies in the world; mind you at their prices they can afford to be kitted out by Armani.

Now summer is almost over I had better dust off my muffler and flat cap; that is unless Locks the hat makers contact me first with an offer I can’t refuse.

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