Press 1 if you want to report a fault

cartoon from

[I] am thinking of reporting a persistent fault to mobile phone manufacturers. It would appear that over use causes the device to adhere to the user’s ear.

Cabbies are getting increasing annoyed by our punters complete inability to communicate in the normal way. They hail you and mumble their destination while continuing a conversation on their mobiles. If you have the temerity to ask for clarification, Mobile Man, as yes dear reader it’s always the male of the financial services species, shoots you an annoyed glance designed to imply that you are a complete idiot.

They continue earnestly talking on their phone for the duration of the journey; I swear if I got a job from London to Manchester (if only) Mobile Man would not stop talking. Ladies reading this might like to reflect on the accusation that women rarely stop talking.

Now comes the clever part. After being told “why have you gone past my house” or “why did you take that route” Mobile Man alights. He then performs a feat worthily of Billy Smart’s Circus; phone in left hand, trying to retrieve money from one’s pocket with right hand and shutting the cab door with his foot, he juggles with commendable dexterity to pay you. Then and this is his piece de resistance, he asks for a receipt without breaking the flow of conversation on the phone.

He then wanders off, still talking; I suppose to find someone to help him prise the phone from his left ear.

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

3 thoughts on “Press 1 if you want to report a fault”

  1. What you describe is an egregious example of bad manners. It doesn’t matter what accessories are used in facilitating bad manners, the offence is the same.

    If I am talking on the phone and have to deal with something else, I tell my caller this and ask him/her to wait for a moment. This is perfectly simple to do, especially on a long conversation when a few seconds of silence is not going to jeopardize communication.

    People who behave as you describe are selfish as well as bad mannered. Unfortunately, selfishness and bad manners are increasingly becoming the norm.

    You obviously don’t want to lose a customer and as I have never been a taxi driver I do not know what stresses and strains might constrain your behaviour but in the situation you describe, I would be inclined to say “Take the phone away from your ear and talk to me like a normal human being or f*ck off and find another cab.”


  2. I have just the worst tow cabbies LOndon must have, arrived gave Paddington Station, and its raining buckets, jumped in to a cab Bayswater Rd please, if looks could kill I would be dead (he was a misreable bastard) fare £3.80 gave him £5.00 the look on his face, could tell a story. Following morning running late taxi waiting outside hotel Paddington please, its only up the road mate, you could walk it no I could’ent you moron I have a bad back, In the evening I had two cab, from Addisson Lee, very professional, not like a scuffy unshaven cabbie, I hope you guys suffer in the recession!!!!!!!!!


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