Oh, I love London Society! I think it has immensely improved. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), An Ideal Husband

I had neither kith nor kin in England, and was therefore as free as air — or as free as an income of eleven shillings and sixpence a day will permit a man to be. Under such circumstances, I naturally gravitated to London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859-1930), A Study in Scarlet

The truth is, that in London it is always a sickly season. Nobody is healthy in London, nobody can be.

Jane Austen (1775-1817), Emma

Yes, London. You know, fish, chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary-f**king-Poppins. London!

Dennis Farina (1944-2013)

I don’t know what London’s coming to — the higher the buildings the lower the morals.

Noël Coward (1899-1973), Collected Sketches and Lyrics, 1931