London’s cabbies are renowned for having forthright opinions, many of which are just moans about the job/passengers/mayor or as diamondgeezer has given its unique title: Grumpytutters. Here are 50 top cabbie grumps:
1. Eating food in the cab
2. Lack of civility when stating the destination
3. Putting feet on the seats
4. Kamikaze cyclists
5. Telling the driver they’ve missed the destination when they could have mentioned it earlier
6. Being asked, “How long have you been a cabbie?”
7. Potholes
8. When TV interviews drivers in their cabs they’ll always broadcast the one who talks like the late Len Goodman
9. Pedestrians crossing the road just yards from a crossing
10. “Do you go Sarf of The River?”, Yes!
11. Boris Bikes riders wobbling down the road
12. Idiots who cross the street whilst watching videos on their phones
13. LTNs
14. Drop off charge at airports
15. Other drivers sounding their horns as the traffic lights change, look we’re not in the Middle East!
16. Drivers who won’t indicate
17. TfL – naturally
18. Unregulated Uber
19. Pedicabs blaring music, or just pedicabs period
20. Passengers who only use a cab occasionally who ‘just know’ the driver took the wrong route
21. Festive passengers emanating fluids
22. “Who have you had in your cab?” Are you really interested?
23. Banning cabs from Bank Junction
24. “Do you know my bestfriend’s/brother’s/son, he’s a cabbie? No, but with the number giving up the profession, I’ll soon know them all by name
25. Worrying you’re travelling at 20.1 mph
26. Bilkers
27. Confusing signage. Are cabs allowed or not?
28. The BBC conflating private hire with black cabs
29. Poor editing in a drama, when the protagonists jump in a cab and the driver goes the wrong way or covers the distance in impossibly record time
30. Cabbies whose vehicle is filthy
31. When ITV’s London Today does a piece about pollution, they use for an establishing shot, cabs – usually electric ones
32. Roadworks lasting ages to complete
33. Lack of toilets
34. Hotels banning cabbies from entering their foyer
35. Being told condescendingly that The Knowledge is just a memorisation test, inferior to a bachelor’s degree
36. Not finding a charger that doesn’t charge charging an extortionate price
37. Cabbies who ‘broom a job’, refusing to take a passenger and telling them to get the next cab in the rank
38. Being told you’re just a minicab driver
39. Punters who ask for Suffolk Street, near Trafalgar Square when they mean Great Suffolk Street, Southwark
40. Fare £4.80 “Do you have change of £50?” If my name was Lloyds I would
41. Leaving litter in the back of the cab, or the half-eaten fish and chips once left in my cab
42. Being told before getting in that private hire charge less
43. Having an old cabbie prefacing a conversation with “Back in the day…”
44. Hire light not showing in daylight on the LEVC TX
45. Speed humps, especially in Islington
46. Being asked to go faster to catch a train
47. Scruffy cabbies
48. Being told the address of a hotel, and the Ritz is in Arlington Street, not Piccadilly
49. BMW drivers, don’t we all?
50. Oh! And did I mention Sadiq Khan? Thought not