For those new to CabbieBlog or readers who are slightly forgetful, on Saturdays I’m republishing posts, many going back over a decade. Some will still be very relevant while others have become dated over time. Just think of this post as your weekend paper supplement.

Press 1 if you want to report a fault (01.01.09)

I’m thinking of reporting a persistent fault to mobile phone manufacturers. It would appear that over use causes the device to adhere to the user’s ear.

Cabbies are getting increasing annoyed by our punters complete inability to communicate in the normal way. They hail you and mumble their destination while continuing a conversation on their mobiles. If you have the temerity to ask for clarification, Mobile Man, as yes dear reader it’s always the male of the financial services species, shoots you an annoyed glance designed to imply that you are a complete idiot.

They continue earnestly talking on their phone for the duration of the journey; I swear if I got a job from London to Manchester (if only) Mobile Man would not stop talking. Ladies reading this might like to reflect on the accusation that women rarely stop talking.

Now comes the clever part. After being told “why have you gone past my house” or “why did you take that route” Mobile Man alights. He then performs a feat worthily of Billy Smart’s Circus; phone in left hand, trying to retrieve money from one’s pocket with right hand and shutting the cab door with his foot, he juggles with commendable dexterity to pay you. Then and this is his piece de resistance, he asks for a receipt without breaking the flow of conversation on the phone.

He then wanders off, still talking; I suppose to find someone to help him prise the phone from his left ear.