For those new to CabbieBlog or readers who are slightly forgetful, on Saturdays I’m republishing posts, many going back over a decade. Some will still be very relevant while others have become dated over time. Just think of this post as your weekend paper supplement.

The A to Z of London – Parts 1 and 2 (18.03.11 and 25.03.11)

I could have subtitled this 26 places to see in London before you die, OK it’s a bit dramatic but for tourists and Londoners alike the City should be explored but with so much choice can be a little bewildering. Covering an area of over 610 sq miiles and a population of over 7 million there’s an awful lot to choose from. It’s tempting to go for the most famous tourist hot spots, many of which will be both crowded and expensive. So what criteria should be applied to the top 26? The common denominator is a simple one; each place must impress the visitor or Londoner – and I hope you dear reader – it should give some sense of the City’s magic, integrity, wonder or legacy and offer value for money.
So here it is – Your Handy Cut Out and Keep Guide to London:

A walk along the South Bank of the Thames is one of the best ways to see the City. Christopher Wren rented a house here to watch his St. Paul’s rising from the ashes after the Great Fire, and you can too. London’s skyline is continually changing and from this vantage point, many landmarks are visible. Visit the Anchor Inn for refreshments.

British Museum is one of the largest collections of human artefacts in the world. So many exhibits are on display pick the best: the Rosetta stone; Elgin Marbles; and the Egyptian Gallery. Richard Rogers covered the courtyard with a dramatic roof; enjoy your coffee break there.

Claridges for partaking in the English tradition of taking afternoon tea. Elegant, with its green crockery, delicious and efficient. The clientele tends to be regulars and more refined than the Ritz which has at times had the nouvelle rich being a little brash.

Drive a London cab. Alright a little self-promotion here, but take a taxi tour and have yourself photographed “driving” a London cab with Big Ben in the background.

Eros in the heart of the West End. The statute is in fact a memorial to the 7th Earl of Shaftsbury and is intended to represent the angel of Christian charity. OK, it’s not Times Square but the illuminated adverts are worth watching.

Fly the London Eye. This elegant modern piece of engineering was built by David Marks and Julia Barfield for the Millennium; it’s Europe’s tallest observational wheel. Buy advanced tickets and enjoy the 40-minute flight soaring 412 feet into the sky, worth every penny for the unparalleled views – and surprisingly no vertigo.

Globe Theatre. The original was built in 1598 and saw many of Shakespeare’s plays performed there. Cannon fire during a performance in 1613 of Henry VIII set the thatch alight, rebuilt it eventually closed in 1642. It took an American, Sam Wanamaker, whose inspiration and drive got this perfect replica built, a perfect except that is for the fire sprinklers, where’re taking no chances this time. Visit in summer and watch the theatre like you have never experienced before. Simply brilliant. The good interactive museum next door.

Houses of Parliament. Tours are possible during summer months or if you are a UK resident contact your MP to be booked into a conducted tour, be warned though; you might have to endure your MP’s waffle afterwards. Alternatively, it is best seen at night from the Albert Embankment on the south bank of the Thames. Stunning.

Ivy Restaurant. Book a table at London’s best-known celebrity restaurant, just don’t stare if you see a celeb, it’s not done. Described as “modern eclectic” the Welsh rarebit is to be recommended. Failing to get a table try Rules Restaurant London’s oldest eatery, serving traditional fare in its present location since 1798.

Jack the Ripper tours most evenings in East London during summer. He murdered at least five prostitutes at the end of the 19th century. The case remains unsolved, but a small industry has built up catering for the less squeamish.

Kew Gardens are worth a trip into West London. The gardens are a convergence of three 17th-century projects. The Palm House is worth the trip alone. Pop into The Maids of Honour Tea Room opposite for a delicious tea before you go home.

Librarians in the British Library try to keep a copy of every book that has been published in the United Kingdom and the building contains over 14 million books. Forget the academia head for the museum with its exhibitions on how early printing was done. Also, early editions of English classics are on show.

Music played in St. Martin’s in the Fields church by Trafalgar Square. Performed in 18th-century costume and illuminated by candlelight. Romantic and ethereal.

This is the second part of “the 26 places to see in London before you die” to cut out and keep. The choice of what is best in London is by its nature subjective, and inevitably I’ve left some places out, I have not, for obvious reasons, been on the Big Bus Company’s excellent tour of London. More importantly at the end, I have included some popular tourist activities you should, in my opinion, avoid.

National Gallery’s collection of French Impressionists is one of the finest in the world, but if you want to examine some of the collection in more detail then join one of the evening lectures conducted by an art expert. When you have seen enough of the world’s masterpieces the restaurant at the top of the Sainsbury Wing has tremendous views towards Buckingham Palace.

Opening approximately 500 times a year Tower Bridge should be on everyone’s itinerary. But don’t just take a picture and move on, go on the Tower Bridge Tour and experience one of the world’s most iconic bridges. Best photographed from the car park of the Gouman Hotel and not standing on the bridge like most tourists seem to favour.

Phantom of the Opera was first performed 25 years ago and still pulls in the crowds, particularly liked by the Japanese. When you see it you’ll understand just why Lloyd Webber is simply the greatest living writer of musicals. The stage design by Maria Björnson is worth the price of the tickets.

Queen’s official residence in London is Buckingham Palace and from the outside, it is probably the most boring palace that you’ve ever seen. Come in August and take the tour inside to see its magnificence – every room designed to proclaim you are in the presence of royalty.

Routemaster Bus Ride, take a bus ride on a piece of London history. You can take a ride on one of those iconic red double-decker buses, it beats me why all those tourists that get excited every time they watch one go past, never actually go for a ride on it. Only two Routemaster routes exist nowadays, on what are known as ‘Heritage Routes’ numbers 9 and 15. Take the ride you know you want too . . . a real piece of nostalgia.

St. Paul’s is Christopher Wren’s masterpiece a tour will show you why Londoners just love this building. Wren was one of the first to have been buried in the crypt, his tomb marked by a simple black marble slab that reads “Lector, si monumentum requiris, circumspice” (Reader, if you seek his monument, look around you) – precisely.

Tate Britain, not to be confused with Tate Modern. By all means, go to Tate Modern to catch the boat which runs between the two “Tates”, then head for the Clore Gallery, which is dedicated to the work of England’s greatest painter J. M. W. Turner.

Underground or the Tube as Londoners call it, among other things. It was the world’s first subway system and many of its regular users would say that it still retains much of its original charm – and infrastructure. Don’t let that put you off, when it’s working the tube is by far the easiest way around London. The iconic signage with the roundel, Art Deco stations like my favourite Southgate and the much-copied underground map is worthy of attention.

Victoria and Albert Museum have a representation of cultures from around the world. That said it is “acquired” from Great Britain’s Dominions or in modern parlance, taken from its subjected peoples. It’s free and whatever civilization you have an interest in you’ll find it represented here. If you have children then take them to the Science or Natural History Museum nearby – both are great fun for children and adults alike.

Wolf’s Statute high up in Greenwich Park gives you the most commanding view you will find of London. Nearby Maritime Greenwich is a world heritage site. Only a short ferry trip away from central London, yet many of its inhabitants have never bothered to visit. Home to Greenwich Mean Time (have yourself photographed standing astride the meridian line), Maritime Museum, Royal Observatory, Christopher Wren’s Old Naval College, Inigo Jones’ Queen’s House and presently being restored after a fire the Cutty Sark once the world’s fastest tea clipper. Spend the day but wear sensible shoes for the hill is quite a climb.

X marks the spot where all measurements from London are taken. King Charles’ Statute on Trafalgar Square should be the start of a walk through Admiralty Arch and into St. James’s Park, London’s prettiest open space, head towards Buckingham Palace at the other end of the park. Double back to the Houses of Parliament nearby.

Ye Old Cheshire Cheese, located on Fleet Street is probably the most popular tourist attraction pub in all of London. Famed for being one of the oldest pubs in London and what I like about the place is that it still retains much of its old-world charm. The pub is said to have been frequented by numerous famous literary figures, including Charles Dickens, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Mark Twain, Alfred Tennyson and William K Wallace! I constantly hear people whining on about the Ye Old Cheshire Cheese being a tourist trap, but if a tourist trap is a bar full of people from all around the world, having a few drinks enjoying themselves, it is a good place to be if you ask me!

Zoo in Regent’s Park is one of the world’s oldest menageries. Now dedicated to conservation and education. I spent much of my childhood there and loved watching the penguins in their beautiful pool. Alas, the penguins have been moved into a new enclosure, but the pool designed by Berthold Lubetkin is a Grade I listed building in the UK Government scheme for protecting important buildings. Don’t miss the new rainforest constructed in the old mammal house – fascinating.

There you have it my personal favourites. And here to save you time and money is a selection of the things you should avoid.

Madam Tussauds. Yes I know it’s London’s most popular tourist destination, and the queue outside is a testament to that. Not cheap a combined family ticket with the next choice on my list to avoid costs £159.60. The only realistic waxwork is Colonel Gadaffi and he looks like a waxwork in real life.

London Dungeon, the personal choice here, if you like blood and gore under a Victorian railway arch this is for you. I found it depressing.

Steak Houses. Two chains of tourist trap steak houses are scattered around London, not an all-inclusive price, you pay for the “extras”. And Hey! Who wants to eat black forest gateaux these days it’s a relic from the 1970s.

Mini-cabs, if you take just one thing away after reading these posts, it should be this: Don’t get into a vehicle that the driver claims are a cab, many are expensive, dirty and dangerous. Hail a black cab or go to a minicab office registered by the PCO and stay safe.

London Aquarium. I’m probably being unfair here, the kids seemed to enjoy it, but London’s aquarium isn’t a patch on many others around the world. It also is quite dark in there, but if it’s raining, there are worse places to go – no restaurant or tea room though.

Oxford Street. If you took out Selfridges and John Lewis this mile-long shopping thoroughfare would have nothing to commend it – except a traffic jam of buses and road works. Try Regent Street or Knightsbridge.

Billed as the world’s longest-running theatre production, the Mousetrap seems to be a must with American tourists. London has over 100 other theatres each providing better drama and entertainment. Ask me nicely and I’ll tell you who has done it.

I’ve lost count of the number of people who wanted to see Notting Hill in my cab. Trust me all are disappointed, it’s nothing like the film. Having said that the writer of Notting Hill, Richard Curtis still lives there, but you won’t see Hugh Grant or Julia Roberts.

Abbey Road pedestrian crossing was made famous by the Beatles’ last iconic LP cover. But it is just that – a pedestrian crossing. If you do get run over by a frustrated motorist who is fed up with tourists just standing in the middle at least it’s on CCTV as a live feed is to be found on the web.
London Bridge is on the site of the Thames’s earliest crossing, don’t confuse it with Tower Bridge, it is what it calls itself – just a bridge.

Pedicabs or rickshaws – It’s not a matter of “if” rather than “when” a serious accident or fatality involving a London rickshaw takes place. The rickshaw drivers do not have criminal record checks and are not tested on road safety or their knowledge of London streets, with the result that the streets of Soho and Covent Garden have become a dangerous free for all with over 400 plying for hire and already one London pedicab driver has been convicted of raping a passenger, they are also the dearest way to get around London – you have been warned.

Mobile hot dog stands. Why anyone would buy food from the itinerant food venues is beyond me, the man preparing the food hasn’t the facilities to even wash his hands. So don’t blame me if after eating one you spend the next day using the en-suite in your hotel room.

So there you have it – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of London – the list isn’t comprehensive but I hope at best the selection has given a flavour of what can be found in our Capital City. As the great Londoner Samuel Johnson said: “Why, Sir, you find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.”

For those new to CabbieBlog or readers who are slightly forgetful, on Saturdays I’m republishing posts, many going back over a decade. Some will still be very relevant while others have become dated over time. Just think of this post as your weekend paper supplement.

Bog standard (16.03.11)

No matter how glum I may feel driving around London the sight of a Pimlico Plumbers’ van with their amusing number plates: W4TER, DRA1N, BOG 1 or my favourite 701LET is guaranteed to put a smile on my face, and if you want one for your home they have now even produced a diecast model of their iconic blue and white livered vans that you can buy. I doubt if these miniatures announce “This Pimlico Plumbers van is reversing” as the full sized version does but I guarantee that when you purchase the model it will be as immaculately clean as the originals are maintained.

The company’s founder and Managing Director, Charlie Mullins, is the archetypical London boy made good. Bunking off school at the age of nine to help a local plumber, he couldn’t wait to stop his education early to become an apprentice plumber.

Once he became a journeyman plumber, and after a couple of false starts, he founded Pimlico Plumbers. His the success, and this should be memorised by every aspiring business leader, isn’t through any special business plans, strategies or forecasts, the core values established from the outset are still the key drivers to the business’ success today. Quality of service.

Charlie looked at all the bad things people think about the plumbing industry: the ripping off, looking scruffy, dirty old van, making out that you can’t get the part, not finishing the job, never turning up on time. He reckons that if you just do the opposite to all the bad things you can’t fail.

Another unusual aspect of Pimlico Plumbers is their willingness to employ older staff; something that many of my generation have found to their cost, that employers are unwilling or unable to take on middle aged staff. Pimlico’s have gone way beyond that age demographic. George Gibbs, aged 83 of Snodland, sent an appeal out in his local newspaper and some of Pimlico Plumbers employees who lived in the area brought the paper in for Charlie to read. The boss, who has appeared on Channel 4’s The Secret Millionaire, was impressed and hired Gibbs as a van driver. Pimlico’s have in the past employed even older staff, Buster Martin, who sadly passed away in April, was Britain’s oldest employee at 104.
Now Pimlico Plumbers is on the search for classic ‘Crappers’ and plumbing icons for its new museum featuring bathrooms from the past 150 years; Victorian toilets, art-deco basins from the 1930s and of course Thomas Crapper originals.

Charlie Mullins whose client list includes Harry Hill, Jack Dee and Helena Bonham Carter is always keen to promote his trade, claims that plumbing is the world’s second oldest profession and the skills and innovations of the industry have touched everyone’s lives. His new museum intends to showcase a range of quirky exhibits that will demonstrate the ingenuity of pluming engineers and bring back memories for visitors.

Entry to the museum in Sail Street will be free with a collection box for nominated charities and it has to be near the top of London’s most quirky museums.

For those new to CabbieBlog or readers who are slightly forgetful, on Saturdays I’m republishing posts, many going back over a decade. Some will still be very relevant while others have become dated over time. Just think of this post as your weekend paper supplement.

Waste not, want not (08.03.11)

I’ve always thought that Prêt à Manger is a rather pretentious name for what is, frankly, just a sandwich shop. The company would seem to now agree with me, for recently they have been referring to themselves simply as Prêt, whatever that might mean. But I can forgive them all the marketing hype when I see their little vans promoting the company’s philanthropy.

Throughout the year they support hundreds of charities by giving unsold sandwiches to the homeless at the end of each day; they deliver over 12,000 fresh meals to numerous shelters in London every week. In total, Prêt à Manger donates over 1.7 million products to charities for the homeless across the UK every year. Their philosophy is that it’s much better that unsold food goes to people who really need it at the end of each day than putting it in the bin.

Being born just after World War II my mother intoned her mantra that nothing should be left on the plate at the end of a meal, for there were many children starving in the world who could do with a square meal. She had good reason for promoting the virtues of preventing food waste, for incredibly until I was seven years old in 1954, Londoner’s were still subject to food rationing.

In the succeeding decades scientists and farmers have been very successful at increasing crop yields but at a cost. Increased use of fertilizers and pesticides has given rise to adverse health problems for many people. While the increase in water consumption used to grow food for the West, has for many countries, promoted friction, indeed many analysts predict the next major war will be caused, not by land ownership, but water rights.

British households throw away a third of the food they buy, while supermarket waste adds a further 25 per cent to that. From a time during the last war when nothing was wasted (even eggs were dehydrated to increase their shelf life), we have come to a point that recently in 2009 the United Nation’s Environmental Programme estimated that more than half of the world’s food is lost, wasted or discarded along the chain from farm to shop, that before consumers’ buy it. They concluded that the world could easily feed itself for a long time into the future, even with the Third World’s burgeoning wealth resulting in increased consumption. All we have to do is radically change our attitude to waste.

The major supermarkets chains claim to send waste food to power the national grid, but this is part of the distorted consumerism that has developed since 1950. What sense is there in sending carefully bred meat and delicately nurtured tomatoes to an anaerobic digester to produce methane gas? This it seems to me, a gross waste.

At least Prêt with their cute little charity vans are putting surplus food into someone’s deserving mouth. It’s just every time I see their evening deliveries I have the notion of two homeless people saying “Oh No! Not wild crayfish and rocket salad with mayo and lemon juice dressing again, what I’d give for a cheese and pickle sandwich.

For those new to CabbieBlog or readers who are slightly forgetful, on Saturdays I’m republishing posts, many going back over a decade. Some will still be very relevant while others have become dated over time. Just think of this post as your weekend paper supplement.

Regency Retail Park (04.03.11)

If you should jump into a London cab and direct the driver to Locks he should drive you to number 6 St. James’s Street. That is according to the website of London’s most famous hatters, James Lock of St. James’s. Just don’t ask for a bowler while you’re there, at Locks it’s called a Coke hat, after William Coke a farmer from Holkham, Norfolk, for whom Locks made the first such headgear in 1850.

But this cabbie was surprised to find after reading David Long’s Tunnels, Towers & Temples that Locks have a rear entrance giving onto Crown Passage. For years I’ve driven down Pall Mall (now being transformed with London’s most pointless road works) little realising that alongside Quebec House, with its blue and while flag, lies the entrance to Crown Passage as perfect example of a Georgian shopping centre as you’ll find in London.

Many of the little shop fronts in this side street are Georgian, Lock’s small wooden bay window on its serpentine brackets is a reminder of the period when shopkeepers were starting to be a bit more assertive in their architectural display, pushing their windows out towards the street to attract passers-by. But they were only allowed to invade the pavement-space by so much – there were strict regulations about how far they could protrude. In a narrow street like this – it’s little more than an alley, really – your windows were only meant to stick out 5 inches or less.

Next door the Red Lion pub which calls itself London’s last village pub, this little alleyway has a village feel about it with shops for all your daily requirements: hat, shoes, groceries, papers, dry cleaners and a sandwich shop, there is even a chimney sweep.

The Red Lion also plays a part in a curious custom on 30th January each year when The Royal Stuart Society laments the death of the beloved monarch, Charles I executed in Whitehall on that day in 1649.

Wearing full Cavalier attire they first lay wreaths at the base of the King’s statute at Charing Cross, itself the point where all distances are measured from in London. The statute by Hubert Le Sueur in 1633 has a curious tale. In 1649 John Rivett, a brazier, was ordered to destroy it by Cromwell, but he buried the statute in his garden and made a fortune by selling souvenirs allegedly from the metal. He then gave it back to Charles II upon the Restoration of the Monarchy.

Having done their duty for King and country like many societies The Royal Stuart Society repair to the pub after a job well done, The Red Lion in Crown Passage.

For those new to CabbieBlog or readers who are slightly forgetful, on Saturdays I’m republishing posts, many going back over a decade. Some will still be very relevant while others have become dated over time. Just think of this post as your weekend paper supplement.

My Radio Times (01.03.11)

“Yours is the only cab I’ve been in that the driver listens to Radio 4”, was said to me once by my passenger. On reflection afterwards I pondered – how could someone be cooped up in the driver’s compartment for 10 hours a day, listening to a daily dish of either the top 20 current hits or the 20 golden oldies that are churned out by London’s commercial stations 24 hours a day – and stay sane?

I was brought up in a time when most families didn’t have a television and weren’t likely to for another decade. Steam Radio, as my father was given to call it, was the entertainment of choice – frankly the only choice. The Light Programme, with Workers Playtime, Listen With Mother and The Archers (still going strong after more than 60 years); The Home Service with its output of informed discussion and news; The Third Programme broadcasting mainly classical music; and the world’s finest broadcaster of unbiased news content – The World Service, who would always boast that the information was sourced by “Their Own Correspondent”, and the source was not from some rag bag news agency.

In 1967 to compete with the ever increasing spread of pirate radio and to acknowledge the new wave of what we now called the Swinging Sixties, the BBC took the best of the Light Programme and Home Service to form what was to become the world’s greatest radio station, Radio Four, at the same time starting the fledgling Radio One for a younger audience.

Transistors supplanted the old valve wireless sets which had been manufactured by Bush and Pye and we listened through our trannies (as we called them in the naïve days of the 60s, before the term took on another connotation), and Radio 4’s output of dramas, comedies, quizzes and features have been the background to my working day for as long as I can recall. Any Questions, Does the Team Think?, Brain of Britain, From our own Correspondent, PM, Letter from America, Just a Minute, I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue are among programmes that I would prefer to listen to rather than engage in small talk with my customers.

Since that time some of Radio 4’s output has transferred to television with greater or lesser success. Programmes transplanted from Radio 4 to television have included: After Henry; Goodness Gracious Me; Hancock’s Half Hour; The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy; The News Quiz (renamed Have I Got News For You); The League of Gentlemen; Room 101; Little Britain and many more.

A trip down Memory Lane might be a pleasant nostalgic experience for me, but what has that to do with being a London Cabbie? Well, the British Broadcasting Corporation have decided for reasons only understood by their senior executives and some Guardian readers, that The Corporation, as it likes to be known, was too middle class; too London centric, whatever that might mean; and how can I put this? White. Which I suppose is why my customer exclaimed surprise at finding a London Cabbie who doesn’t listen all day to Talk Sport.

Now the BBC’s production teams are to be scattered to the four winds in an attempt at what Radio 4’s controller calls changing “the general tone of the station away from formality and perceived didacticism towards spontaneity and conversation”, which presumably means dumbing down and moving away from London to encourage people other than middle class Londoner’s to tune in and understand its content. With many of Radio 4’s programmes already having hosts possessing attractive regional accents, and most quiz, debate and documentary programmes transmitted from around Britain I fail to understand the reasons for this enormous upheaval. Is Today in Parliament going to be reported from, say, Bristol? Farming Today could be given a makeover and relate topical news items of interest to farmers in Manchester. Woman’s Hour could talk at length about the causation of man flu. Would The Archers be improved if it were the tale of simple farming folk living in Hackney? And the Shipping Forecast with its sleep inducing 00.48 am broadcast intoning Rockall, Malin, Forth, Dogger etc, might it be improved if its predictions for the weather were transferred to forecasts of The Serpentine’s weather?

But what do I know about how to run the BBC? Nothing I’m only a consumer and licence payer. I do know this, that a rather busy taxi rank alongside Langham Place will, over time, be rather quiet. But at least I’ll be able to listen to The Archers without any interruptions from customers.